Me: Can you bring me something back from India?
Sri: Yes, what?
Me: Aishwarya Rai.
Sri: Pssh! Are you crazy? She’s already had a baby.
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December 2011
Me: “Ball so hard, that shit cray…”
Sri: The ball is hard?
Me: Yup!
Sri: Who’s balls?
#thatshitcray
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…we literally just had a 2-man go-go set…
Sri: singing, “You messed up, messed up Sri. You messed up, messed up Sri.”
Me: *on the drums, see: desk* <enter basic pocket groove from your favorite DC band…>
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Me: “Well, I be done seen ‘bout everything… when I seen an elephant fly.”
Co-worker: …
Me: Hey, you’ve ever seen a elephant fly?
Co-worker: ?
Me: What you’ve never seen an elephant fly?
Co-worker: What an elephant?
Sri: Yes, you’ve never seen it?
Co-worker: ???
Sri: What you don’t believe him?
Co-worker: What that an elephant fly? or an elephant fly?
Me: An elephant fly!
Co-worker: An elephant fly?
Sri: Wait… are you speaking in the present or past participle?
Co-worker: ???????
Sri: I’ll make it simple… is the comma before or after the elephant?
Co-worker: I do not know but I’ve not seen an elephant fly!
Me: Come look… *shows computer screen*
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