Laugh Better

Nancy Grace, I fucks with you boo.

by dre of onustees.com on 29 March 2012

The Person of the Week thus far is Lady Nancy Grace…

Nancy Grace has been going HAM on the Trayvon Martin murder… Thus we pay homage with the “Negro Please”… a look handed down through centuries… From Hannibal’s baby mother… to Shaka Zulu’s grandmother, who perfected the gaze when asked by her famous grandson, should he retreat from British threat… The Negro Please was flawlessly executed by Grace as she spoke with Frank Taaffe, when he attempted to defend George Zimmerman… even the brother on the panel gave a hint of… “Run that by me one more time…” which is a precursor to the “Negro Please…”

– Click for video of Nancy going in on Frank Taaffe… “CUT HIS MIC OFF SON!!”

– Click for video of Nancy giving Joe Oliver some too… “Hoooool up, Hoooooooool up!

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Ok, so this image may be a little OC but if you’ve seen the Chappelle skit… You’ll funk with me…

While perusing through articles of awesomeness… I stumbled upon the greatest thing I’ve read since Dr. Manning Marable’s Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention… Letters of Note recently revealed a letter written by former slave, Jourdan Anderson, to his former owner requesting his return to work with promises of pay and better treatment… If the following is as factual as Kottke.org promises it to be… Life is certainly more entertaining than fiction… Enjoy!

Dayton, Ohio,

August 7, 1865

To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this, for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Colonel Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again, and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me that Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here. I get twenty-five dollars a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy,—the folks call her Mrs. Anderson,—and the children—Milly, Jane, and Grundy—go to school and are learning well. The teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday school, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated. Sometimes we overhear others saying, “Them colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks; but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Colonel Anderson. Many darkeys would have been proud, as I used to be, to call you master. Now if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost-Marshal-General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you were disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years, and Mandy twenty years. At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. Add to this the interest for the time our wages have been kept back, and deduct what you paid for our clothing, and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams’s Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past, we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night; but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter, please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up, and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve—and die, if it come to that—than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood. The great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant,

Jourdon Anderson.

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Sri & Me: Episode 20

by dre of onustees.com on 27 January 2012

Me: You gotta get up for the downstroke… You know what I’m saying, chief?

Sri: Ahh, do yeah ya know yeah.

Me: WHAT!?!

Sri: Sorry chief, the bubble gum wouldn’t let me speak clearly.

Me: Oh…

Sri: It’s not the swagger.

Me: !!!!!!

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Sri & Me: Episode 19

by dre of onustees.com on 17 January 2012

*Sri left his headphones at home… decided to let his iPod rock over the computer speakers… and is chair jamming…*

1st song: Main Tera Dhadkan (off a Bollywood Soundtrack…)

2nd song: Harry Belafonte “Hava Nagila”

3rd song: Irene Cara “Flashdance… What A Feeling”

Sri: Have you seen this movie?

Me: What?

Sri: Flashdance?

Me: I know of it… I don’t recall sitting watching it.

Sri: Oh, you didn’t miss anything. *goes back to dancing*

4th song: Isaac Hayes “Theme from Shaft”

Sri: Do you know this song?

Me: *stares blankly*

Sri: Oh yes, of course.

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5 Things: Learned on National Flag Football Tourney Trip

17 January 2012

MLK Weekend @ Nationals… a place where brothers can chase the man in public… During MLK weekend the USFTL (United States Flag & Touch Football League) held their 41st Annual National Championships in Orlando, Florida… These are 5 Things… I learned while playing and traveling with my Men’s 8 on 8 team… The radio is […]

It’s Do Better Movement Time!

10 January 2012

Sometimes you just gotta Tebow. It’s been a long time… We shouldn’t have left you… Hopefully, we won’t anytime soon… After weeks of fiddling with the site… and debating how to return… The return became clear while watching #15 above surprise the football landscape with the win over the Steelers… Go for what you know… […]

Sri & Me: Episode 18

22 December 2011

Me: Can you bring me something back from India? Sri: Yes, what? Me: Aishwarya Rai. Sri: Pssh! Are you crazy? She’s already had a baby.

Sri & Me: Episode 17

22 December 2011

Me: “Ball so hard, that shit cray…” Sri: The ball is hard? Me: Yup! Sri: Who’s balls? #thatshitcray

Sri & Me: Episode 16

19 December 2011

…we literally just had a 2-man go-go set… Sri: singing, “You messed up, messed up Sri. You messed up, messed up Sri.” Me: *on the drums, see: desk* <enter basic pocket groove from your favorite DC band…>

Sri & Me: Episode 15

16 December 2011

Me: “Well, I be done seen ‘bout everything… when I seen an elephant fly.” Co-worker: … Me: Hey, you’ve ever seen a elephant fly? Co-worker: ? Me: What you’ve never seen an elephant fly? Co-worker: What an elephant? Sri: Yes, you’ve never seen it? Co-worker: ??? Sri: What you don’t believe him? Co-worker: What that an elephant […]